A bit of a writing ;)

I want to submit more works here sooo much! I like showing them. I can even say that having this blog is a bit pushing me to draw because I want to show more and more! Show that art is my real passion, my big love, my hobby and the joy of my life! This is something I want to do every day. But also like a child amazed with the fire seen for the first time who wants to touch it, I burn really fast. 

What does it mean?

I like to see the result of my hard work, I work inch after inch and when I am done with little piece, I like to step back, cover with my hands what is undone and imagine how this little fragment will look when all the rest is done. This builds me up. I used to show versions in progress of the drawings so others could see, what I see. Imagine, what the rest of this undone drawing will look like, if it was done. Get enthusiastic of expected results so I don't want to leave it even if I am very tired.

But... I noticed that not  everyone can look through the pink glasses that I can.

I show 60% finished drawing and my soul shouts: " Look! I have done so much! I have spent 59846254 hours, and its not finished yet, but you can already see the result! Look! It impress even me myself, that I've done it. That I was so patient! That I gave up watching film with my beloved, I gave up precious hours of sleep, but I do not regret. Just look!"

And suddenly my thoughts are muted: "Oh.. nice.. but is that really what her right hand looks like? Ok, maybe it is... Hey, who is it anyways?"

or:

"Nice... can you tell me why did you choose to draw this picture? Did you know that right side of it doesn't look quite right...?"

I am ok with criticism. I also need it, but when the work is done. Before it is, it feels like...

...yay... someone just blew the amazing flame of my candle. Was it even real?

Ah, probably this one isn't really that impressing. I will start another one... but first I will catch up with the wasted hours of sleep.

And I won't get back to drawing for the next few days or weeks...

Currently I have 7 or 8 drawing started and all of them are left for more less same reason. Somebody suggested that working on them is pointless...

I am not very "strong character" type of person. I break down easily and it's very hard for me to get back to being myself.

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So if you are viewing this blog from time to time and see no movement, don't think I quit drawing. I will never ever do that! Just since this day I am giving up on posting works in progress until my work is completed. Be patient and you won't be disappointed! :)

The colour of light

I needed to do something new. 

Try something I have never done before, cause I felt like standing in one place, not progressing. So for few days Gaga's portrait will have to wait for me ;) (not too long though, dates, dates, promises and again dates coming!); and I am trying out my sense of colour!

I got pastel pencils from my mum as a gift few years ago and have never used them...

The time has come!
(right click + open in a new Tab to see higher res pic)

This is what I wanted to do, and I like doing it, if anybody asks...

And another one

I am not lazing away! :D

These are pics from y-day, I still have approx. 5 hours before I'll go to work, so I might yet push it a little step forward ;) I received canvas 18th and even if I didn't start that day it still counts, so already 3 days passed. Planned to be done in less than 10...

Guess I'll fail but will try the hardest I can.

 God knows why I made her eyes bigger, irises to be exact, it just happened naturally ;b

Wish me luck again (;

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Oh! Nearly forgot to mention... I am not into Gaga kind of music, neither in what Taylor Swift represents, although I can not say I don't like these girls cause I don't know them personally... 

I chose to draw them cause they're pretty (:

Finished.

 

"Art is never finished, only abandoned." (L. da Vinci)

So generally, I can say I have stopped working on this drawing. I could keep on drawing each single one of my works forever but this is not the point, or is it? (: The drawing is done to the appropriate level of satisfactory for me. I have worked hard, and yes, I am proud of myself! Even if it took took 6 days too long....

Feels like dead...

24 hours since the last post. However not finished yet, I think there's a good approach.. I tried really hard, but died at 4 o'clock. My back pain is unbelievable and with shaking hands what I could do only, was to blow it, so I decided to have a break...

...not so bad I guess...

And this one I think I took at 2 o'clock? Don't remember really.

Now its time for me to go to work. I look like the undead, and feel not much better, to be honest :D

The night brought me a very unpleasant thought... Thought that drawing does not please me any more. It causes a lot of pain, physical and mental one; that it puts pressure on me; demands way too many sacrifices I can make.

I have to think about it. Probably it's not drawing that gives me all that, but all the rest - like my job, for instance - that leaves me no time and strength for the things I really want and enjoy to do.

24 hours

24 hours before I will have to go to work. Quick update:

I DON'T WANNA STOP!

Days are too short..

The plan to post something every day died the very next day I planned it. I could explain myself, I was moving, I had no internet access for two weeks (can you imagine two weeks without ordering a pizza!?)

Never mind, no one wants to listen no excuses.

I've been working on a new drawing. To be honest I am quite disappointed already, because I started the 1st of July with a very strict and motivated 10-day plan, and well, isn't it 11th today? And this is where I am..

..or rather where I WAS yesterday, I woke up at 4.3o a.m today so I can sit longer on it once I have a day off work today. And it was too dark to do anything... It's 6.3o and I am writing this here for myself so I don't feel I wasted the time completely while waiting for the sun.

Here is what the drawing looked like on the 7th:

I left hair 'cause they started irritating me. I decided to go for the jewelery.. and I feel like it was a suicide :D

I will post some details of the drawing and the original photograph to show why. The photo I've got is pretty poor quality so the links look like few pixels randomly put together, so I have to stretch my imagination slightly.

Oh, and it's finally time to blow the gaff and show what's the real size of the picture.. :)

I wouldn't moan sooo much if that was A4 ;)

So here you go, 100x90 cm

less than 60 days left and 5,5 same size drawings to do.

Wish me luck maybe...?